originally, i was going to write about champagne problems. but i stepped away for a moment, and “so long, london” started auto playing on youtube. i was so immediately enamoured.

i had previously heard this song when reviewing TTPD, and that time - i tried to understand it as references to boys in her past. however, this time, i’m gonna ignore that and see the song for what it is.

there were some lines which stood out to me. i saw a youtube comment mention that she says “you’ll find someone”, “i’ll find someone” and “i’m not the one” - but never “you’re not the one”. it’s tragic to find a relationship that won’t workout, but nothing more tragic than not being able to get over a doomed relationship.

i’ve never regretted my past. i’ve always felt it was necessary so that I could be the person I was meant to be. my gf always asks me if she would have liked me when i was younger. she’s always surprised when i say no. i guess it’s hard to imagine that the person in front of you would have been unrecognisable years ago.

“and I’m pissed off you let me give you all that youth for free”

it’s tough trusting that a relationship is worth it. sure, you could be hesitant and drop a toe into the pond sparing yourself from the pain of being burnt. i’m all for the other camp. a friend once told me “loving fully means that no matter what happens, you tried your best. if it didn’t work out, you know at least that there was nothing you could have done”. in a way, it’s painful - but you’ll be able to live without regrets.

taylor, to me, has always felt like someone who loves fully. she’s inspiring, and honestly, it’s amazing how strong and successful she is despite the pain she’s faced in her life. thanks for the song, and so long, taylor.